second day

Well here it is a day two.

Felt a little tired and needy today. Maybe even tearful. Wait, need a tea... er no milk, so powered then. Luckily I have built up a tolerance to powdered crap from cycle touring but anyway still tastes like shit...where was I? Tearful, yes. Guess I'm just tired. Not rushing off to bed at the mo which for me is a bad sign. I have always thought how quickly you get so sleep is a clear indication of the state of your soul. To much on your mind or conscience keeps you brain buzzing long after you body has given up. My mind is full of things I should have done, bills un-paid, phone calls un-made, and letter un-written. I'm not that busy, just lazy.

So, what did I do today.

After getting up, I changed into clean clothes (this is rare for me I must admit), and headed into uni for what I knew would be a wasted morning of self avoided study and chatting. I am happy enough to waste this time. At least at uni I am around people. Lectures followed in the afternoon which turned out to be quite good and reassuring in regards to treatment plans for diabetic patients. Hypo? Sugars! Hyper? Water!

We were given MORE assignments and work books and I felt myself being a little overwhelmed. I did quite well in my last assignment but am not sure if that was my doing of my sisters help? She is the brains.

I found myself looking at my peers today, seeing them in 5 years time and really being able to imagine what type of paramedics they will be. I can feel some already not giving a shit about there patients other than to test the knowledge on. There is a real idea of elitism already. "Stupid patients with their heart attacks and diabetes, old ladies that smell of piss and fall over." It's hard sometimes to remember these people are us. These people are are mothers, fathers, grandmothers...

I'm tired today because I cannot sleep

I cannot sleep because I'm tired of being lazy and I'm lazy because? I don't know maybe I'm just tired.