Players

Ok so not long till I'm back on the road whizzing around in a big yellow and green bus. However until then i have little to report.

My social life may be considered as dull and seeing as writing this is hard enough when i have things to talk about I been quiet of late yes?

I have however had a theme running though my small town life recently, one of dating, either me doing it or other people asking my advice on it, yes OK i can here the laughter among some people reading this, but people do sometimes think i might know something sometimes.

I have noticed that ladies and gents differ in relation to the level of honesty early on in dating. Questions keep popping up from my girlie friends about weather a guy is into them or not and how should they act if they like them? Is this guy being nice or is he a player? I want really sure of what to say inst it obvious if somebody is a player? Don't they have a shinny shirt and shaved balls?  

So when recently when I girl i am seeing (that's a very lose description I have never met her and we have talked on the phone about a dozen times) asked ME if i was a player? Just like that no hidden meaning no clever mind games just "are you a player"

As you would imagine I was shocked and confused, so much so in fact that without thinking i said "I don't know?" The girl slightly stunned by my response almost sounded like she was trying to defend me throwing me a simple question even a moron could answer, asked " but you wouldn't lie to somebody about wanting a relationship just to get them into bed, would you?"

I could feel  the gap in this conversation growing bigger and bigger exploding outwards like some futuristic lab accident any minute it would reach a critical no return point i had to say something... "errrr I don't know?" 

thummmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwsssssssssspop

"er maybe? is that likely to happen?.....are you likely to requests that before sex?... do you have a contract?.. sign here here and here, right now we can have sex and after we will be together for no less that 3 months unless one of us dies.."

further silence and a

"......im sorry but idea that you know either way before you have sex if crazy? I wouldn't sign up to a months supply of mustard flavored ice cream unless i knew what it tasted like. Does this not just break relationships down to a new form of easily broken marriage."

So with newly created SexDeaTh matter entering the world from the ear piece i'm left to ponder what the fuck happen? How did i get that so wrong? How at 31 did i not know how to answer such a easy fucking question and more to the point why did a turn it into an argument?

 Maybe because I'm not a fucking player?  

Maybe because i don't see sex as a surrender by one person and a victory by another. Something that can be held by either of us as a trump card in some stupid game. Do people really think that making somebody wait to have sex will help them sift out the bad form the good guys? If i was only after sex waiting a couple of weeks makes no odds to me but surely causes you no end of heart ache when it all full apart?

If a person is going to lie to you act like a arsewipe there is little you can do about it.

I now feel cynical and hungry.